Mood Music

Earlier I was in a pissy mood. I have trouble suppressing feelings like that, so I always need some sort of outlet. Music has always been that outlet for me. So, I started to look around in my ever growing collection (Jeebus bless you, Zune Pass) for something good and angry. I couldn't really find anything. Then, my brain immediately screamed, "Matt & Kim!". If you're not familiar with Matt & Kim, I'll tell you, their music is infectiously joyful. Then, I realized that I did that last week when I was feeling sad. I listened to something happy.

That is so not like me.

Usually when I'm in a funk, I listen to something that will suit the mood, rather than compliment and eradicate it. If I was sad, I'd go straight for Bright Eyes or Elliott Smith or Dashboard (don't hate). If I was mad, I'd go for something...well...angry. I still can't think of anything.

It actually occurred to me that I haven't done that in a while; just lingered in a funk cause I'm comfortable there. This is a major deal to me, because I think it represents a bigger shift in my mindset.I don't think it has to do with age or maturity. I think I have just become a much more responsible person when it comes to my emotions. I have come to a place in my life where I have recognized that no one can make me feel like crap without my permission (to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt), and I do what I can to command my own feelings. It helps that I no longer associate with people who put me all in an emotional tizzy.

It's fun to discover something new about myself. I think it happens so much less frequently as we age. Not because we stop changing, but because we stop noticing.

The end.